My lemon is ripe, sweet & juicy
I have seen all these lovely anniversary and wedding posts lately and it makes my heart warm. There was a time where I could have been a real Scrooge at the sight of marital happiness. Ready to throw in the towel! Actually I did! And the towel kinda just let me be. His laxidazical approach didn't help the situation one bit... I was so far gone that when he did make the decision to play for our team, the competitor in me said "bring it on!" "You don't stand a chance!"
He surprised me in a win/ win kind of way! Now I don't believe that every marriage or relationship can or should be saved. But I will say this: the truth is... It only takes one! If it takes 1 to initiate the break or bend or just acknowledge the existence of it in some cases... It only takes 1 to actually try and fix it or mend it. He set aside the multitude of things he had piled up "against" me & focused on repairing the distance it all caused. When things weren't so great I made a lot of attempts to communicate or repair with counseling but my other half would say: "I'm good" when in reality he was so irritated with little things he just didn't want to bother with me (I must have sensed that). I felt very un wanted -not needed by him, but by the grace of God in it all... He didn't just "say" he wanted to try... He DID! Without that I don't know where we would be? I slowly started to want to pay him back. And I still love doing that to this day because he continues to show and tell me how much he loves me, everyday! Every fight is valuable and a lesson. Sometimes it even makes me smile. Most moments together are short but cherished and spent well.
I fell in love with and married the man of my forever dreams! I could have chose anyone (that was available and liked me back) and I chose him as the best. There is a reason, and not everything is roses. In the words of Miranda Lambert, "back before everything became automatic" "we worked our problems out". I urge you to be willing to get your hands dirty if you have to, & don't take things for granted. Also sometimes communication is not the end of "trying"! I write this to share... We all have struggles, the difference is turning lemons into lemonade (if you have the means)! Now some people have grapefruits and those are too sour & an acquired taste... That's another Oprah/ blog!
My point is I never thought (after some really bad thoughts) and 11 years down the road that I would be saying: "I really truly love my husband more and more each day because of our troubles, from our trials!" If you are ever interested in hearing specifics I would and will always share the difficulties that brought us to a place of great joy! Until then I will tell you, it is all thanks to our Heavenly Father & faith in him! #Amen
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